Another aspect of refraining from doing certain things is to create a distinction between this day and every other day. You consciously make this day different from every other day. By creating a boundary, you co-create an oasis of peace from which you are refreshed and nourished, and from which you can greet each new day of the week with that same commitment to harmony and intentionality. Part of the commandment to 'keep and remember' Shabbat is to carry its scent and flavor into the rest of your days as you go about your life. You are to carry forward the experience and awareness of your essence as a human being connected to the Whole, into your work, your social activities, your primary relationship, and into each contact with the world.

Creating a boundary also reminds you and gives you practice in the processes of differentiation and containment. Differentiation is the process by which you become aware that family, friends, spouse are not just people with a role or use in your life, but rather unique and separate human beings. Their emotions and feelings belong to them and are separate and distinct from yours. Your way of seeing and experiencing life is not the 'only' way that is valid or true. While that may sound obvious, like most people, you probably still tend to view one or more people in the world more like an extension of yourself. Just as Shabbat is distinct from other days of the week, it reminds you that by creating a boundary, you consciously allow what is, to actually come into being. Without that emotional separation that is necessary for emotional intimacy, two things tend to happen: you go about your life assuming others should think, feel, experience, perceive, just like you do; and/or that other people and things are simply there to serve some purpose for you. Either way, you do not allow the 'other' to exist as an 'other' and you thereby invalidate and diminish their being. Shabbat is about honoring and valuing each unique self, other, Creation, within the context of the Divine -- rather than in the context of its similarity or use for you.

Creating a boundary makes you aware of what is contained within the boundaries. On Shabbat, it's as if you create a container to hold in time and space that which exists eternally outside your awareness -- your union with God.

Shabbat is a time and place in which you experience being held in rest and peace. From that, you learn to contain -- to hold your self and others in a deeper way.

They asked Rabbi Pinhas of Koretz, 'Why is God called 'Makom' (Place)? He certainly is the place of the world, but then he ought to be called that, not just 'Place.'

Rabbi Pinhas replied, "A human being should go into God, so that God may surround him/her and become that person's 'Place.'

Abraham Joshua Heschel called Shabbat a 'sanctuary in time.' You can enter and be held in the Divine Presence. If you allow it, Shabbat enfolds you and holds you in wholeness. It is a time to let go and sink into the Being of the Divine.

Shabbat teaches you how to become 'makom' for others, a welcoming, safe place that will hold their being. You learn how to become a place of peace, rest, and containment .

Shabbat also gives you practice in containing by learning to contain your own reactivity. Shabbat is a day in which you pay attention to thinking and speaking in a way congruent with the peace and wholeness of the day. You make sure to keep negativity, distress, criticism, blame, or defensiveness out of your thoughts and conversations. Containing is not repressing. It is consciously choosing the time, place, and process through which you will express yourself, instead of continually leaking it. It is about holding yourself within your boundaries and having the freedom to choose to extend yourself outwards.